Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
