what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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