I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
