Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later

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(248): View more from Michigan

Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.

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(212): View more from New York

Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?

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(417): View more from Missouri

Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall

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(620): View more from Kansas

When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.

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