My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
