What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
