If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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