a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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