I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
