we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
