I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You took a bar mat shot.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
