sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Boobs speak an international language.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
