Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
