That's intense
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
