does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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