They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
3 2 1 whiskey
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
