this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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