Whod you bang
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
