Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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