If i come over, it means nothing
I just cut my nipple shaving
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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