i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When are your genitals available?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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