Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
