I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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