What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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