if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
