tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
