I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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