This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
