I look better un-naked...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
