If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just tell him i said nine months
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
