oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
