Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
