Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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