I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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