On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
