WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
