called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
