we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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