We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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