I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm too high and old for this...
I had to cum in my sink.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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