Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I need moral support for this bender
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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