I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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