Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
