I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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