white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
