it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
