I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
pray to the hookup gods
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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