My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
