i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
