This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i think my cat just said my name.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
where are my eyebrows?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
